Pig Proverbs

This is just a bunch of sayings I've collected over the years. I call them Pig Proverbs because of the first two:

Never try to teach a pig to read, because it won't succeed and it will make the pig mad.
Never roll in the mud with a pig. You'll just get dirty and the pig will enjoy it.
When you get married, expect the worst and then you won't be disappointed. (original)
Man's a fool. When its hot, he wants it cool. When its cool, he wants it hot. Man always wants what is not. (Mike Quinn)
When your outgo exceeds your income, your upkeep will be your downfall. (Dad)
When you're trying to sell a "no brainer" its because the customer has no brains. (original)
If you can't be good, be careful. (Dad)