Mark Boyd's Family Web Pages.

A "Real Man"
Perry Cecil Williams

Every man (and most women) likes a man's man or a "real man." What's a "real man?" Many people today think of a John Wayne or Clint Eastwood type of guy - strong, tough, and rugged. Some might think of a Don Jaun kind of guy, always having the right looks and words to impress the ladies.

I think if you want to know what a real man is, you can look at how my father in-law Perry Williams led his life. He was a real man. He provided a great example for his sons, his sons-in-law, his grandsons and nephews. When living their lives, they would do well to think about how he lived his.

Dad (I call him Dad because he treated me like a son - just like a real man would) always did the right thing. He always did what was expected of him. He did what was right. He did what others expected first, and never worried about what would make him feel good or what he wanted to do. He did what was expected of him and never balked or complained about it. He never worried about being fancy, important or showy. He simply did what he supposed to do.

He took care of his family - he put them first and himself last. He took care of their property so that they could be proud of living with him. His home always looked nice. He kept it painted and clean, the lawn mowed and the walks cleaned. Things inside the house were always maintained - never run down. He always kept his car clean and well maintained. His family could be proud of where they lived. It may have not been fancy, but it was always right.

He always showed up for work, never late and usually early, and never mind if he felt like it. He did what was expected of him every day and didn't complain about it or look for a way out. You can tell it by the respect he got from his coworkers and bosses. They admired his dedication, consistency and spirit of cooperation. They knew he was a "real man."

All of his fellow church members respected him because he did what was expected. He served his church. He was there when he was supposed to be and he did and said what was expected of him. He never complained about being too busy or about what others were doing. He just did his part.

Yes, if a man (or boy) wants to be considered a "real man," just live a life like Dad did. Don't worry about what others are or aren't doing, or what you can do to make a big splash in life. Don't worry about what makes you feel good, but do your part, don't complain, keep looking forward, and do the right thing.

I think of him like a masthead on a ship. That piece of carved wood on the front of an old sailing ship. The face always pointed forward, never complaining or stopping.

Regardless of the hot sun beating down he kept going. When the work was hard, he didn't quite, he just kept working till it was done.

Like the masthead in a raging storm, when the waves of life slapped him in the face, and the stormy winds blew into his eyes, he didn't look for shelter, he kept looking forward and kept going.

When life turned dull like a the doldrums on the seas, he just kept looking ahead, knowing that the winds would eventually pick up. That life would eventually get exciting again.

Like an ages old masthead whose paint is pealing and wood is cracked, when he became frail, he didn't look for someone else to take over, he kept going. When he became beset with ailments, he didn't look for someone else to take over, he kept looking forward and kept going.

Writtne on Memorial day, a year after his death.
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